Groundhog day
It was excitement galore here Chez Mad Dog when an ill-advised groundhog bumbled into our backyard only to be greeted by Shelley, who was deployed on a routine perimeter check.
From my home office, I heard an unusual cacophony of barking and scuffling. But by the time I burst onto the scene, the groundhog was, alas, not long for this world. Shelley has what dog people somewhat euphemistically call a “strong prey drive.” In practice, what this meant was that “the non-violent solution” to the groundhog’s breach of our borders was, ahem, not pursued. I was about to witness my sweet little pup, the companion of all my days, pick up this rather defenseless little creature and give it a violent shake. I heard a squeak. I heard a crunch. There was more shaking. Nature, red in tooth and claw!
Being of delicate sensibility, I averted my eyes. And the groundhog passed on to his hoggy reward.
Someone was rather pleased with herself:
“Look, Ma, I just self-actualized as a large predator!”
When I lived in Berkeley, I used to see a lot of cars with these bumper stickers that read, “Dogs are just little people in fur coats!” As I stood over this freshly-killed groundhog corpse that my dog had proudly deposited under my back porch, I found myself wondering if those people actually had dealings with any real dogs. Because, really, nothing could be further from the truth. And I had the dead groundhog to prove it.
(At least I hope that nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve just had a horrifying vision of little people in fur coats invading my yard in order to shake the bejeezus out of groundhogs.)
Rather than being little people in fur coats, dogs are really just wolves with manners.
Nonetheless, I was kind of feeling like a bad mother, the kind who doesn’t effectively teach her little charge about proper conflict resolution and how to be welcoming and share your cookies when a stranger comes into your yard and so forth, until my friend David told me that his dauschund not only killed a groundhog, but also ate it. I perked up. At least there were no dietary indiscretions Chez Mad Dog!
Still, we had to settle down after all the excitement. Shelley fell fast asleep, exhausted by her murderous efforts to keep the backyard safe from hog incursion:
I knitted more of Rogue’s hood:
A little better detail:
And as I thought back over the day’s events, I began to wonder what happens if a groundhog pops out and, instead of seeing his shadow, is summarily dispatched by his local canis familiaris? Will we have six more weeks of summer? Opinions?
Mad, bad, and dangerous to know:
P.S. I just learned that Woolcott has bamboo sock yarn. Can you say bankruptcy anyone?
July 13th, 2006 at 3:31 pm
I have no doubt that Hugo would cheerfully dispatch any groundhog, squirrel, bunny, or other small animal that came within his reach. (This includes cats, as well, although he has a sort of truce with the two cats who actually live inside our home.) Don’t feel too bad. Dogs will be dogs.
July 13th, 2006 at 11:56 pm
Good observation on canine behavior, Ellen. My dog, who underweighs your dog by about 60 pounds (he’s a Yorkie) has the same killer instinct. Don’t let the bright eyes and smile fool you. Just stay on their good side.
Okay, that sounds like something from a Stephen King novel, now that I think of it.
And my cat is the same way. He shot through the screen door one day, knocking the screen completely off, to catch a chipmunk in his mouth. Once he had it, he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. It was like he came to his senses and said, “How did this small mammal get in my mouth?”
July 14th, 2006 at 11:39 am
Thanks for the support, Sarah and Lorinda! I’m glad to hear that other people’s pets are just as lethal as mine.
I will say this, though: Shelley does make a swift and bloodless kill. Hard to know whether to be horrified…or proud.
July 16th, 2006 at 8:17 am
Both. And thankful–that it’s not you.
July 16th, 2006 at 11:56 am
We have a dog and two cats who often let us know that they are still predators. I look on the bright side, at least it keeps those little varmints out of my house and fewer holes in the yard!
Atta girl, Shelley!
July 17th, 2006 at 8:19 am
You know, Diane, we could see this incident as Shelley earning her keep by working as an exterminator. I like the spin, I like the spin…
August 31st, 2006 at 11:21 am
[…] has once again been defending her turf. Unfortunately for both her and for me, she is apparently unable to discern the differences between an intruder like, say, a groundhog—which she can dispatch with almost frightening haste to his hoggy reward—and one like, say, a skunk. […]