The awful truth
Finishing Minnie (yes, it’s true!) has put me in the mind of that genre of jokes in the good news/bad news form, my favorite of which is this:
Mr. Jones goes to the doctor to get the results of some recent tests. When the doctor comes in, he looks at his patient’s chart and he shakes his head. He says, “Mr. Jones, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like first?”
Jones says, “Well, let’s bite the bullet. I’ll take the bad news first.”
The doctor says, “Okay. The bad news is that you’ve got pancreatic cancer and the prognosis is not good. I’d give you six months to live.”
Jones says, “Wow. Um. That’s pretty bad. So what’s the good news?”
The doctor brightens and he says, “The good news is that my son got into Harvard!”
By the way, if you ever find yourself working as a college counselor at a high-test private school attended primarily by the children of NYC’s wealthiest people, don’t try to tell that joke at a parent meeting. Unless you enjoy stony silence.
Believe me, I know from whence I speak.
But I digress…
So the good news first in this case: Minnie is done.
Here’s the back. Fairly pretty, I think.
I’ve begun with the photo of the back because full frontal shots can only point us toward the awful truth—Minnie is not a flattering sweater on me. Maybe on someone, but not me. That, my dear, dear friends, is the bad news. After all that work. One could simply weep.
Knitter or Mack Truck? I have even worse pictures, but to post them? The shame is too great!
What have we here? Why, it looks like an unflattering handknit sweater that was furthermore a hellish thing to knit and caused its creator nothing but grief. Woe be she who picks the wrong garment!
Chez Mad Dog is a dark, dark place today.
And in fact, I must run. Alex has offered to take me to see Eastern Promises, the new Viggo Mortensen film in which my man Viggo appears buck naked but for his tattoos.
Apparently, there is a feeling in some quarters Chez Mad Dog that there is nothing like Viggo Mortensen naked to cure what ails a girl and make her feel like her sunny self again.
I cannot, I fear, argue with that logic.
September 22nd, 2007 at 8:52 pm
I think the front and the back of your sweater look pretty great! But that’s just me.
September 22nd, 2007 at 9:29 pm
Actually the body looks great on you, the problem is all in the sleeves. They are way too short- you could salvage this sweater by frogging back to the elbows and lengthening them so the flare starts just above the wrist. It would then look beautiful, and beautiful on you!
September 22nd, 2007 at 9:55 pm
I simply could not disagree with you more! It’s a LOVELY sweater and looks great on. I hope, in time, you’ll come to appreciate and, perhaps, like it. But, I think, wear it, you must! And often! this is just residual hatred for what she put you through!
September 23rd, 2007 at 12:03 am
I have to agree with the other commenters… it doesn’t look too bad from here. I’m sorry you don’t like it, though 🙁 It sucks to spend so much time on something and not like the end result.
September 23rd, 2007 at 9:37 am
Viggo naked. You made my day. That was my thought about going to see Eastern Promises, too; you are a girl after my own heart.
I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?
The bad? Minnie is not your most flattering sweater. You have such a lovely figure it should never be hidden underneath garments that are too loose. If Minnie were more fitted, she would flatter you more. Is it possible to do buttons all the way down the front? Would that help or hurt?
As to the sleeves, they seem not to match the line of the rest of the sweater. Perish the thought, but could they be reknit to be narrower and more ‘drapey’ like the bodice?
The good news? I agree with you about Minnie.
Hope this isn’t met with stony silence.
Oh, and those kind of jokes remind me of Geico commercials. Hope you saved a bundle on car insurance while you were at it.
September 23rd, 2007 at 10:02 am
I’m with Helena. If you can stand it, lengthen the sleeves. The bells add “inches,” I actually think they’re too big) but the rest of the sweater is flowy and drapes beautifully and is very flattering, I think. This is such a good lesson for all of us. All those waify little IK models make their projects look the way we THINK they’re going to look on us, until we actually get them ON us. Also, I think you may be smaller than you think you are (ie you might could have done Minnie in the next size down). Okay, hope I’m not adding to bad news. And hope Viggio had at least twenty minutes of nude scenes.
September 23rd, 2007 at 2:13 pm
I have to agree with Helena–the problem is those sleeves. Way too big and flared. I see them longer, fitting much more closely until just down to the wrist, and then a “little” flare.
Also, I’m thinking that putting buttons down the front to the point where the “flaring” starts on the body would help as well. You could easily test this theory by putting some pins or locking stitch markers in to close it up and seeing how it looks.
The actual knitting is beautiful though! I know, cold comfort.
My last suggestion–put it away for a while until the pill is not so bitter.
September 23rd, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Can I tell you the thrill of glee that I feel when Sarah agrees with something I said? That makes me feel really good!
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:03 pm
I like it. It looks beautiful. You do yourself no credit saying that it doesn’t.
September 23rd, 2007 at 7:07 pm
I don’t think it’s *that* bad, but if you don’t think you look good, don’t wear it. I did this to myself with Stephanie Japel’s Forecast – I knit it, put it on once, and frogged the whole sweater ‘case it made me look like a sausage. I hope you find a home for this sweater where someone will appreciate it.
September 23rd, 2007 at 8:00 pm
i think a. it’s lovely but b. could be more fitted in the bodice. it doesn’t look bad on you at all! oh the pain of those sleeve… how do you feel about a minnie vest?
well, i’m sure i’ve told the story about knitting up that great pink debbie bliss sweater from interweave a few years ago, only to put it on and realize i looked like a half-puffed marshmallow.
September 23rd, 2007 at 8:43 pm
I think it looks great! And thats saying a lot (to me hehe) since I thought it was looking bad to begin with. I think its very flattering on you!
September 23rd, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Actually I don’t care for the sweater at all on you. The sweater looks nice, the finished knitting and all, but I don’t find it terribly flattering. The body is okay, but a more fitted look would be better for you. But those bell sleeves flare out so much and it doesn’t seem to suit the lines of the sweater at all.
September 23rd, 2007 at 10:16 pm
OK, I generally agree that the sleeves are from hell (especially since they gave you such hell). But I wonder if this wouldn’t look better with other accompanying garments. Because the body fits you very well. With a tailored and (possibly) dark dress, might it be a romantic and lovely cover-up? Or am I grasping here?
Here’s hoping that Naked Viggo helped. Though for my money, nothing less than Naked Clive Owen would salve the wounds of Knitting Disappointment.
September 24th, 2007 at 7:41 am
I really love it, and think it looks wonderful on you! It flows!
September 24th, 2007 at 11:07 am
It’s not fitted at all, but as a loose, swingy garment (swing jackets _are_ hip this fall!) it’s beautiful. I love the sleeves–wide enough to be graceful and show off your arms, but short enough to be practical and out of your way. Still, I’m the sort of person who can’t stand to look at a thing for about 6 months after it’s done. And even then I frog half the time. So know that it’s lovely, but if _you’re_ unhappy with it, frog. 🙂 (or xmas present 😉 )
September 24th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
The problem is not the sleeves, but the way the bodice has no shape and hangs and billows out. Comparing it to the original picture, the sweater had a snug fit with form. But it is still nice as a morning jacket or to wear at a renaissance faire, its not that bad and very original.
September 24th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
I don’t know what ANY of you are talking about. The sweater looks fantastic on you.
September 25th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
I must say I liked it. And I don’t think you look like a sausage in it, either. I thought it was very pretty. I have not seen the original, but if you want a little more fit (I am going back to Anne’s comment about the bodice) could you run some elastic thread under the bust in a few rows to draw it in under the bust? Elastic thread or fine cord is an inexpensive thing to try.
September 25th, 2007 at 10:10 pm
For what it’s worth, I think that it would look better over a simple, fitted dress or with darker top/pants. Also think that the sleeves are too big around, narrow them, lengthen them, flair at the wrist. It is a very pretty sweater!
September 30th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
I think it is the perfect gift for you to give someone else. Your mother-in-law maybe?
October 3rd, 2007 at 10:32 pm
Googled “knitting blog”, found yours. It’s lovely, BTW. The blog, that is.
The sweater is, too, but I think you’re right about the fit – it’s a little shapeless for you. Would one of those thick belts that are popular right now do the trick? Or even a knitted belt?
So sad, even worse than a catalog order that doesn’t fit. Good luck!