Knit Sisters

Thanks to Sarah for the post on the English five-pitch combs! Since I neither spin nor comb, I learned a great deal. Let’s be honest, y’all. That is a whole other level of craft and, even more to the, um…point, that is a whole other level of tools. Now that I’ve gotten a load of those combs, I’ve begun to suspect that my sister is living a double life: knitter, spinner, mother, and educator by day; Fiber Ninja and CIA Special Operative in Interrogations by night.

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

I bet Langley sends her all the really tough cases, the guys who won’t crack under any kind of pressure: “All right, Larry, if he won’t talk, I guess we’ll just have to call in…The Fiber Ninja. With her English five-pitch combs!” “Oh, God, no! No! What do you want to know? I’ll tell you anything! Anything!”

Half the time, she doesn’t even have to show them the combs. Just the idea of them is enough to strike terror in their hearts and loosen their tongues. Now that’s what we call good tradecraft! In the “intelligence” biz, that is. (You remember that book, Everything I Needed to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten? What a lie. Everything I needed to know I learned from John Le Carré novels…)

Now, if I’ve learned anything from John Le Carré, it’s that my sister is going to deny all this. She’s going to claim she has nothing to do with the so-called “intelligence community.” You can humor her if you like, but we know the truth.

Meanwhile, although I made little-to-no progress on the Wedding Noodles over the weekend, I made the first sock of a pair (tastefully displayed with dog):

Shelley liked this sock more than I expected. Here’s what happened when I tried to retrieve it:

“I, Conquistador Shelley, claim this sock for Spain!”

I’ll get it back eventually. Though I may have to stoop to shameless and undignified bribery with Milk-Bones and Greenies.

Anyway, it really isn’t all that urgent because I have a broken little toe and can’t actually wear any enclosed shoes or socks. That situation recently got worse because, having followed the recommendations in Highly Technical, Advanced Medical Advice of Tomorrow…Today! (i.e., “tape your little toe to the one next to it”),

I found to my horror that after four weeks the skin on those toes was looking something close to gangrenous. For obvious reasons, I’d hate to lose my toes, so I cooked up a knitted solution that would bind the toes together, and yet let the skin breathe! The Koigu Toe-Stabilization Sleeve, in progress:

And in use:

I’m pleased to report that after only two days of wearing the Koigu Toe-Stabilization Sleeve, I have experienced significantly less swelling and dramatically less gangrene. The Koigu Toe-Stabilization Sleeve really works!*

*Results not typical. The Knit Sisters do not guarantee relief from broken toes or gangrene through toe sleeves or other knitted garments.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 19th, 2006 at 10:28 am and is filed under Sock it to me. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.