Spring Assessment
At this time of year, those of us who work in the public school system face the dreaded “spring assessment.” Back in my day, standardized tests given in the spring were called “achievement tests.” Remember those? We got a booklet and a sheet with lots and lots of little circles on it, and we proceeded to go through and answer the questions, filling in the bubbles with a #2 pencil. We were cautioned to fill in the circles darkly and completely (don’t skip any questions!), so that the machine that graded the thing could read it.  And you’d best not write in that test booklet, either!–because it was going to be reused the next year.
Well, not anymore.
Now, not only do the kids get to write in the test booklet, a good portion of the questions require written essay-type answers, which must be graded by someone. (Which sort of begs the question–if these things are being graded by real live people, how much of an objective yardstick can they be? But I digress….)Â
The test “security” is a whole topic unto itself: As a teacher, you must never be alone with any of the tests. You must not even crack open a test booklet before you set it in front of the students. Never leave tests in your classroom unattended (like to, say, go to the bathroom) without locking the door. Only approved district employees can be in the room when the tests are given. The testing window must be strictly adhered to.
I won’t even get into the whole issue of these tests being used to “grade” schools and assess teachers’ abilities. No Child Left Behind!
As I’ve thought about the “spring assessment,” it occurred to me that I’m wrestling with my own very different kind of spring assessment this year:
Why do I experience so much sadness and depression?
Can my marriage be put back together?Â
Why do I feel that I have to please everyone else at my own expense?
What is it that I’m working toward?
What is it that I want to do with my life?
If only these questions could be answered neatly in a test booklet! The one answer that always speaks clearly is this: I want to design knitwear for handknitters. So. There it is.
With that end in mind, I started a new cables-and-lace swatch out of a mercerized sportweight cotton.
I’m envisioning a summer sweater with raglan sleeves, a low v-neck with a self-finishing neckline, and perhaps elbow-length sleeves.
You don’t have to know all the answers to start moving forward. Just answer the ones you can, and do your best on the others.
March 28th, 2007 at 9:04 am
When I was little they were called Iowa Basic Skills Tests… ah the memories… Sharp No. 2 Pencils, unhappy faces, stern looking teachers… As for real life, I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up either! If we only knew how easy life was when we were kids!
March 28th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Who were you before you put yourself last?
March 28th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
There’s this Howard Thurman quote I’ve had with me for a few years now. You’ve probably seen it lying around the house recently:
“Don’t ask so much what the world needs. Go out and do what makes you come alive, because what the world needs most are people who have come alive. ”
I don’t even know who Howard Thurman is, but that’s what I want for myself, and that’s all I want for you, Sarah. I want it more fervently than anything.
Love, rob
March 28th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Exactly. It’s enough to answer a few questions right now, and the others will start to be apparent soon enough.
The swatch is beautiful. I can’t wait to see what you do with it!
March 28th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the swatch. I can’t wait to see what you come up with by way of a design.
I also love the quotes above from Ruth and Rob. Both very good things to keep in mind.
March 28th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Lovely swatch, and sounds like the perfect summer sweater. Lookin’ very pretty there.
And sounds like you’ve got one answer there… It’s a start. Note that it happens to be something you’re very good at, too. Even better.
March 28th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Let me know when you find the answer key to your test. I think your test asks much more pertinent questions. Life was easier when everything had an answer, and it was one of five things.
March 28th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
The swatch looks gorgeous. I can’t wait to see the finished design. I’m dead curious about what you’ve got in mind for incorporating that great cable design on the left with the lace.
There are so many ways to get lost. I’m glad you’ve found the first step back to yourself.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:33 am
Oh, Sarah. I really don’t know what to say. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to take the time to really get to know you and see what it is you want and that you need for you. Sometimes you do need to take the time to explore yourself and see what you need before giving up yourself to someone else. It’s hard to mesh yourselves in a relationship without losing yourself sometimes. You will come thru to the other side and learn what it is you need. Good luck. I think you will go far with designing knitwear as I find you so very talented.
April 2nd, 2007 at 11:06 pm
Dude, my dad, who used to not make a d^mn bit of sense to me, now makes all kinds of sense. He says things like, “Do what makes you happy!” regardless of the situation. And really, it makes sense. If you do what makes you happy, the rest of the good things in your life follow. That is, assuming you’re not a serial killer.
(The best thing he says lately, and it’s only when my mom isn’t around is, “Oh! Who gives a F? I mean, really!” That doesn’t apply here, but it’s funny to hear an almost-60 year old man say it!)