Ghetto

Many thanks to all of you who sent birthday greetings. Much appreciated!

I have to say, I never met a birthday I didn’t like, and however ignoble and even childish it may make me appear, I really, really enjoy the presents:
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A selection of wonderful things, made all the more wonderful by the fact that loved ones bought them for me and wrapped them. It’s the wrapping, after all, that engenders the special birthday magic.

Here’s what I got for myself:
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We just so happened to get a long-awaited shipment of Trekking at the shop on my birthday eve. I took it as a sign.

I frankly cannot get over the orange.

But this birthday, blessings truly abounded. For starters, you cannot imagine how much better everything looks when you know you don’t have colon cancer. Looks? Hell, how much better everything tastes when you know you are tumor-free! Even if you are still only able to eat broiled chicken, hard boiled eggs, bananas, and toast most of the time.

Both my father and Helen (blogless, alas!) reminded me of the Winston Churchill quote, “There is nothing so exhilarating as being shot at and missed!”

And then, completely unexpectedly, two old friends I had lost touch with found me through this blog on my birthday and thereby I experienced one of the many blessings of the internets. One of these friends, a kind, witty, and extremely intelligent man, is now living abroad (sad for me, but probably quite nice for him, given the current “leadership” we have in this country…whoops!…I forgot that this is not a political blog for a moment there), but the other, equally delightful and just as smart, is living right here in Boston. He was here all along and I didn’t know it! I haven’t seen him in fourteen years and next Saturday we’re planning to meet for lunch.

He’d better say, “You look just the same. Exactly the same!”

Honesty is not always the best policy. Personally, I value truth so highly that I like to use it sparingly and on special occasions.

Thirdly, we have more croci:
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These have enjoyed a little April shower.

And fourthly, I have finished the fronts of Minnie and made a little neckline for her:
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The shoulder seams were actually a three-needle bind-off. My methods of avoiding sewing are virtually limitless.

A little closer so that you can see the beads:
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I was told at the bead shop that these were “special beads.” “Of course they are!” I said. “Did someone suggest that they were ordinary? Show me that scoundrel!”

There’s only one fly in my birthday ointment. Imagine my horror:
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Do you see it? Yeah, the front and the back pieces don’t match up at the shoulder seam. I’m not frogging this baby, but please! I actually followed the pattern this time (with very subtle modifications to avoid side seams, yes, but otherwise…) and this is what I get?

This is not good design, people. Not good.

This is, in fact, what Alex would call “totally ghetto.” You can take the boy out of California, but you can’t take the California out of the boy. At least he doesn’t use “hella” as an intensifier in the way of his countrymen, e.g., “That movie about the Spartans and King Leonidas was hella cool.” One’s skin simply crawls.

But that shoulder join? Totally ghetto. Or maybe, just maybe, hella ugly.

17 Responses to “Ghetto”

  1. Joanna Says:

    Oh, I do hate “hella” – but it’s right next to the Bostonian “wicked” on my list (as in, “the shoulder seam is wicked ugly”). Except that I do not think your shoulder seam is wicked ugly OR hella ugly. It’s true that the pattern doesn’t match, but how often do people look down on your shoulder from an angle where they’d be able to tell? 🙂

  2. Joanna Says:

    Oh yeah, and because I somehow missed the last post, happy (belated) birthday!!

  3. Shelda Says:

    I agree that the Trekking arrival *was* indeed a sign! And share your appreciation/wonder at the orange. Both oranges, in fact, on my monitor! But it’s that upper left one that could have me scrambling for my debit card. Did I know what color it is, ‘a course. It’s hella cool, dude!

  4. debsnm Says:

    My personal favorite is “fugly” makes me laugh every time, and your shoulder seam is definitely NOT fugly! Please, please, WHAT is the name of that lovely Orange? I’m thinking it will make the BEST cookiea’s Millicent socks. We must have been separated at birth, because except for the yellow/blue/green trekking, we have much the same taste in sock yarn!

  5. Sarah Says:

    Nice yarn!
    Oh, by the way, I did get you a birthday present, it’s just not completely apparent to the naked eye, so to speak. (I renewed your subscription to “Interweave Knits” last month. Hope you still like it!)

  6. Harvey Says:

    Hiya Ellen and happy birthday to u

  7. sean Says:

    First of all, how cute of Harvey to wish you a happy birthday. I am ashamed to have to send you mine belatedly! But it doesn’t dilute all of my good wishes and complete joy at the news of your being cancer-free! (eventhough I told you so! LOL).

    I’m going to have to think hard and long about those shoulder seams. It appears as so they are one stitch off…and although I know it’s there and you’ll know it’s there — no one else will notice! To be sure. Knitting isn’t as precise as we would sometimes like…sort of like life eh?

    Did I mention, “Happy Birthday”? and many happy returns of the day!

  8. Diane Says:

    Well, at least you have someone to blame besides yourself for the shoulder mismatch! Your birthday haul looks just wonderful (and I want a LYS nearby that has Trekking).

  9. Andrea Says:

    Ellen! Congrats on the birthday and all the good things therein. I’m a new friend of your sister’s and wanted to drop you a line to say “thanks” for your wildflowers cable scarf pattern. I am working on the SECOND scarf – the first of Noro Silk Garden for me, because I’m shameless, and the second for a great buddy! So thanks for giving the world – and me – the pattern!

  10. MonicaPDX Says:

    Just shows to go ya, you can’t depend on anything that shares a name with a cartoon mouse. Ok, I should run and hide after that one. [g] But really, yeah, while it’s bloody annoying… Will you suddenly start hanging out with baskeball players who knit? ‘Cause otherwise, I doubt if anyone will be peering down at your shoulders, as Sean said. If anyone does, I’d think it’d be perfectly within your right to privacy to whack them smartly in the nose.

    Lovely birthday loot, both kinds – I’m with you on that – and finding old friends, even better. Top it off with good colon news (ok, I cannot figure how to rephrase that), and sounds like a great one. Wear it all in good health. (And I promise, email soon. I’m behind again.)

  11. Ellen Says:

    Guys, thanks for reassuring me that the shoulder seam is not so hideous, but I’m afraid I still think it is…hella ugly.

    I may have to grow my hair out to cover it.

    Ugh.

  12. Jennifer Says:

    Hi Ellen,

    First of all, please allow me to extend belated birthday good wishes. The sad thing is, I HAVE your birthday on my calendar, but still managed to forget to acknowledge it on the correct day.

    And, I have been meaning to respond to your “dodge the buttoscope” post, because I am so happy for you and relieved that things are fine AND you don’t have to go near the dreaded BoS machine for another 10 years. Good news all around.

    I love the orange.

    Perhaps I’m a philistine, but I can’t see what’s wrong with the shoulder seam. In any case, you look great with long hair.

  13. Jennifer Says:

    Oh! And I wanted to tell you, I met your senator, Kerry, today. He and Theresa came to my workplace and did a book signing. And, he graciously signed a picture of my sister and bro-in-law wearing Kerry shirts, after I told him that they canvassed nearly all of Wisconsin for him in 2004. I didn’t quite have the nerve to ask him to sign our 2005 Inauguration protest photos though – I thought it might just be depressing for him.

  14. Rima Says:

    What a FUNNNNNN blog! I’ve been moving for the past week and cannot believe all that I’ve missed!!! Happy birthday, Ellen! What beautiful gifts! You make me want to run out and buy some new yarn – especially the orange! Of course my SO would just shake his head and point at my stash …. already have a luscious orange or two in the bins : ) Just waiting for the perfect pattern. Can’t wait to see what you create!

    The seam? No one could possibly notice. The specialness of the beads alone will dazzle the looker’s eyes not to mention the amazing technique. Did anyone mention that the sweater could be a sweet teaching moment?

    Love all the links! I check every one out! Thank you (you too, Sarah) for all you do for those of us thirsting for color, texture, ideas, encouragement..and laughs. You rock!!!

  15. Wanda Says:

    The seam is a little off, but it’s not hella ugly. And trust me no one should be that up close to investigate a seam. I think it will be just fine, honestly. Loving all that Trekking!

  16. Bobbie Says:

    The seam isn’t all that bad, no one would ever notice. Really. My long departed Grandmother often said to me, “It’ll never be noticed on a galloping mule.” She really knew how to boost a girl’s ego. 🙂 So I always feel that unless it’s really a glaring mismatch in a highly visible place, no one pays attention. A knitter would be far too kind to mention it if they did notice it; and if they’re muggles, they never no the difference anyway!

    The orange is certainly fetching, but it’s the multicolor on the top right that calls my name! And who can resist sock yarn?

  17. Kimberly Says:

    🙁 I leave blogdom for a couple of weeks, and look what happens. I am sorry that I missed your birthday. Sounds like you had a blast!
    Bunny hugs,
    =:8