Twenty-nine days to go
My helpful gift registry people tell me that there are now only twenty-nine days until the “big event.” Thankfully, the most recent wedding gift that has been sent to us is a miniature cocktail shaker and four martini glasses.
Now there’s someone who’s really thinking! With twenty-nine days to go, I honestly can’t think of anything we need more than martinis. Not a blessed thing. Thank you! Thank you! A million times, thank you!
Seriously, though, I actually feel much better about this whole wedding business than I did last week or the week before. I know I had a lot to say about the major issues surrounding the over-commercialization of weddings in our wildly dysfunctional society and all the feminist issues they raise and all the rest of it. I’m not retracting any of that, but the thing that made me feel so much better about going to California and the wedding and the reception out there was…(wait for it…)…finding a great dog sitter for Shelley.
Yep. I’m telling you! Like night and day after I found this woman. I actually started looking forward to the wedding after I met with Jen and introduced her to my dog. No joke.
Shelley loved Jen and Jen said a number of admiring things about Shelley and then, magically, I could feel my anxiety lifting.
Just goes to show you that you might think you really have major issues with social injustice and rampant materialism and “the gaze” and female objectification and the prioritization of beauty over substance and the devaluation of women over thirty-five and so on and so forth, but it could turn out that you’re just worried about who’s going to take care of yer dog.
Lord, who wouldn’t be worried, prize dog like this?
Furthermore, I picked up my wedding dress at the Bridal Barn (with a vehicular assist from Nasser, whose socks are now finished, see below), and I saw that it was, in fact, good. Heartwarmingly, a couple of fellow Barn customers wandered by during the fitting and said, unprompted, “Wow, that’s a really beautiful dress on you!”
On the other hand, what are they going to say? “Wow, you look like Grendel’s mother in her Sunday best. Is there time to find another gown? Get some plastic surgery? Or maybe just cancel the wedding?”
While I was at the Barn, I also learned how to attach an eight-point bustle (you can think of the eight-point bustle as the hyperfeminine counterpart to the eight-point buck…or something like that) from Mercedes, alterations goddess extraordinaire. Cake! Complete cake. That is, as long as you haven’t had a couple of martinis (see above).
Mountain Colors Bearfoot, a lovely sock yarn with a touch of mohair, in color Deep Blue. A color that is very, very hard to see when you knit, but very, very lovely when the finished object is presented. I knit these on two circulars, U.S. Size 2.
Thanks to that Bridal Barn lesson, I am now prepared to manage effectively should I suddenly be catapulted backwards through time into the 19th century and find myself confronting eight-point bustles on a daily basis. Makes it all worthwhile, people. All worthwhile.
Because time travel happens nearly constantly.
Nasser in his role as foot model. Note the near-perfect fit of these socks. Why, it’s almost like they were…made for him!
And no, Incomparable Kate, you may not see the wedding gown and its eight-point bustle until the wedding. If it were up to me, I’d say yes, but you start dealing with a dress that big with a train that significant and those things just have minds of their own. They also get quite arrogant and prima donna-ish what with all this talk about “the most important dress you will ever wear” and “the perfect gown” and “the most you will ever spend on any single garment, sucker” and such. That’s what they hear all day long. Really goes to their heads. Long story short, the gown is refusing to leave its garment bag until June 21st.
At which point it will emerge and almost certainly demand a martini. Fortunately, I’ll be prepared.
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:48 pm
That’s so funny– I’m glad you found a dog sitter that can put your mind at ease. I don’t suppose that could really work for me, given that we don’t own any dogs.
Take an unsolicited compliment! If they didn’t actually think that, they would have smiled wryly and kept walking.
May 24th, 2007 at 8:31 am
Kristy, maybe you should get some dogs! Or at least just one dog.
Maybe “dogs” plural is a little much, come to think of it.
May 24th, 2007 at 8:38 am
I can’t wait to see the dress on you “in real life,” as they say.
The socks look beautiful and very classy on Nasser’s feet.
May 24th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Blast!
May 24th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Lucky Nasser! Those socks are great – I love the color, but I can see that it would be a bear to knit. (I use metal dpns, size 2 and wouldn’t you know it…they’re blue! – I don’t see myself knitting blue socks anytime soon.)
As for the dress…she may be beautiful, but Ellen, you just tell her that you’ve got Peeps! Peeps who really don’t care about her attitude problems. If you should want to give us all a peek before June 21, we’ll all help put her back in her garment bag!
Shelley deserves the best! Glad you found Jen.
May 24th, 2007 at 9:41 pm
I totally get the dog sitter! Why do you think Tool Man and I haven’t been on vacation in 2 years? Of course, last time we returned from vacation (after 2 glorious weeks and 9 national parks) and went to pick him up, we got as far as the parking lot and he turned back to go to the kennel wth all his friends! Darned ingrate.
Oh, and my blog moved!
May 25th, 2007 at 7:11 am
hiya ellen i just wanted to say that i like the socks and i think shelly so cute o by the way im not going to the wedding because i think it might be borring for me P.S. i m not good at spelling as youve probubly noticed
May 25th, 2007 at 9:45 am
You know, come to think of it, Harvey may be onto something here! As I think of it, I think the wedding might be boring for me too.
Back to Plan A: Hire Nicole Kidman to play self in California wedding festivities.
I can see the ad now:
“Hiring Nicole Kidman to play bride in own wedding: $24,000,000
Peace of mind: Priceless
There are things that are reasonable, and for everything else…there’s Mastercard!”
May 26th, 2007 at 5:28 am
Mastercard… ::mad snickers::
Hurray for people who give martini shakers – now, that’s gotta be experience there. And wonderful news about finding a great dog sitter for Shelley! Yep, that’d sure eat at a person’s mind. I agree with Kristy. If the compliments weren’t real, the people probably wouldn’t have said anything. In fact, they were no doubt heartened by how good you looked, and expressing their relief that despite what seemed like a hopeless search for their own gown that didn’t suck, you’d managed to find one you looked lovely in, so there was hope for them. See? You’re a one-woman reassurance team! Have a martini. Plus you deserve them for Nasser’s socks. Wunderbar, and that is a beautiful color.
So – now you’re all totally relaxed about the wedding, and won’t even need the martinis, right? ::runs::
May 30th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Dear Ellen your first picture of Nasser’s socks inspired me to get the Favorite Socks – 25 Timeless Designs from Interweave and I am actually tackling the Retro Rib Socks pattern which I believe is the same one you’re making for Nasser. I am taking this on since I have actually completed one pair of socks from the Easy Beginner Sock Pattern from my lys which I believe qualifies me to now move on to something more fun and challenging. Being a self-taught left handed knitter however, I must chuckle at the “k1tbl”, since every knit stitch I make is always through the back loop. This pattern has forced me to learn to do the “normal” knit stitch through the front loop, which started out awkward but is now kinda fun. Anyhow, after 3 days of working on the sock, I am one and a half inches into the leg, having completed the 15 rounds of ribbing! At this rate the socks will be done by Christmas and I will have figured out who to gift them to (if not myself.) Oh, after dutifully swatching on 3 sizes of needles, I am making them on size 3’s.
On the subject of your wedding dress et al, I am very glad things are moving along and you are happy. I do anticipate a future blog on what to do with the dress once the Biggest You-Know-What of your You-Know is over. I will reserve my opinion about embalming- I mean – preserving bouquets and dresses until that time.