My D-I-V-O-R-C-E
Became final this week.
I feel a little weird, a little sad, a little relieved, a little scared, a little excited. Scared about what the future may hold, and excited about what the future may hold. A bit frightened that my fall-back position is no longer there. I really am on my own now. (Well, as much on my own as a woman with a loving and supportive family and great friends gets.)
Once upon a time, when I was a more active quilter than a knitter, (I know, horrors!) I checked out and re-checked out a book from the library about a quilter named Nancy Crow. She is well-known in the quilt world and has won many prizes and awards, as well as commissions. This book, in addition to picturing her quilts, also included photos of her studio and her own thoughts about her creative process. I think this was what fascinated me about the book–the glimpse into a successful fiber artist’s inner workings and inspirations. The one thing that I remember most from that book, though, is a large, hand-lettered sign that Nancy Crow had up on the wall of her studio. It said: FOCUS. SET GOALS.
I’ve thought of that often and often over the years, both when thinking about the large things (What in the heck am I doing with my life?) and the smaller things (Which project should I pick up next?). I often thought of creating my own FOCUS. SET GOALS. sign to hang on the wall of my studio. But I never did.Â
I don’t know exactly why I never did make that sign. Perhaps it was just laziness. Perhaps it was something deeper than that–a lack of daring, a lack of confidence. Maybe I really didn’t feel that I deserved my focus, that I myself was worth my own time. Â
On August 10, I’m closing on a small two-bedroom house here in town. Harvey will have one bedroom; I will have the other. There is a large, sunny room with hardwood floors where my grand piano will sit, along with my spinning wheels. I’m planning on making my bedroom my studio space as well, with my sewing machine, my fabrics, my yarn, my fiber, my books. And on one wall I will hang a large, hand-lettered sign that reads:
FOCUS. SET GOALS.
July 28th, 2007 at 6:29 am
I was going to leave a comment telling you to make that sign, but you’ve beaten me to it. But you could make it NOW, couldn’t you? No need to wait until you’re in the bustle of moving. Good luck 🙂
July 28th, 2007 at 9:25 am
As always, Sarah, you are in our thoughts and our prayers.
Mother and Daddy
July 28th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
I was prompted to your site because you posted about Nancy Crow, but unfortunately I can’t read your blog. Your background is too dark and almost the same value as the font you type with. I’m interested in hearing what you have to say. You may want to consider changing your background.
July 28th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Oops, my bad. Seems like you have a green background that just didn’t load quickly. Ignore my last post 🙁
July 28th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
hmmm – a new season – a new beginning! Amazing how the seasons come and go. Some begin with little awareness and others begin with a bam! there it is. May this NEW season be a time of goal setting and refocusing – for you AND Harvey. May it be a season of growth and blessing.
July 28th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
I can’t say it any better than your Mother, Sarah. So, ditto.
July 28th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
I know how unsteady you are feeling, like the earth slid out from under your feet. But you have found a house for you and Harvey; solid ground on which to build a home. Focus. Set Goals. And it WILL happen.
July 29th, 2007 at 12:03 am
Congratulations on the new house. I think I need to make a sign something like that myself. I know you’ll bring yours into reality.
July 29th, 2007 at 9:14 am
Yep, Sarah, it’s time for YOU, and that large room sounds just perfect. You can set GOALS of skeins and skeins of beautiful yarns spun in a sunny window, and focus on posting photos of them so that we all can covet. And which of us doesn’t long for the freedom to incorporate studio space into not one but TWO rooms?
You go, girlie.
July 29th, 2007 at 9:40 am
What a great sign! Thank you for sharing that marvelous phrase of action and inspiration.
Congratulations on the new house — does one say congratulations on a divorce too or not? I’m not sure of the etiquette there! But it sounds like you really are moving into a new and exciting phase.
July 30th, 2007 at 7:55 am
Sarah: I’m such a believer that in bad things – good things happen. And I’m so glad that you are staying here in town. Your talents are so much appreciated by so many of us who hear you play, eat your wonderful cakes and see your creativity with fiber.
Besides, we have a 50th anniversary coming up next summer and I’m planning on one of your special creations for the event!
Our best wishes for the house, for Harvey and you and most of all that sunny room with the sign that says FOCUS, SET GOALS.
July 31st, 2007 at 2:09 am
Wow. Congratulations on the house, and on moving into a new phase in your life. I really, really, really want that FOCUS. SET GOALS sign to be knitted. I don’t know why, but somehow that would make it seem like it’s really YOUR sign. Apologies if I’m babbling 🙂
August 5th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
Hi Sarah,
I have just started reading your blog this evening. I am a new knitter who is reading everything she can get her hands on. Someday, I will get to the knitting part more than the reading part. But I had to comment on this entry. Yesterday was my 6th wedding anniversary. And my divorce will be final in 1 month and 2 days. I am alternately (and simultaneously, sometimes) dreading the day but looking forward to the ability to strike out on my own (I have wonderful friends who are my family) and figure out what I want. Good luck on your house closing. I just wanted to throw in support from a new reader.
Kelly in Wisconsin