These activities are dangerous
While the debate about Minnie’s suitability for me continues to rage in the comments, I did want to say a couple of things:
1) I think the decision to knit something is often based on the level of interest one has in the pattern (here, the beading, the interesting stitch patterns, the rather interesting shaping of the garment) and the yarn one has chosen (here, Classic Elite’s Classic Silk, which I still love and stand by fully). The question of knitting challenge, however, is often tragically ill-matched with the question of the wearability of the garment in question.
In this case, particularly with the question of the whether this interesting garment was really going to look good on a short, curvy woman who frankly needs to accentuate her waistline lest she look like a small, peripatetic sausage.
2) With all due respect to commentators Helena, Cindy, Lorinda, and my own sister (and y’all know I love you), I am not reknitting those sleeves in any way, shape, or form.
Those sleeves are dead to me.
In the meantime, while I decide if I ever want to knit again or if I would rather sell my stash and large cache of Addis and begin a 12-step program for recovering knitters (I’ve already admitted that I have a problem…Minnie, that is…), I’ve been dealing with other issues.
As you may know, this dog
is the light of my life. As a shiba inu mix, she is also an excellent guard dog.
The combination of her need to patrol the perimeter of our property and her need to be outdoors as much as caninely possible has meant that we have always had a dog door for her so that she could go into the fenced backyard at will. She is not a digger or a fence jumper, so I can allow her this freedom even when we are not home. She loves it and it has always worked out just fine.
Last Thursday, however, Alex got home before I did to find that the fence gate was open. And where was Shelley? Sitting right in the middle of the yard as if nothing unusual had occurred. Like the terribly good dog she is.
Nonetheless, I nearly had a brain aneurysm when he told me this. I think I said something measured, calm, and thoughtful like, “Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!”
Like my entire family had died in a plane crash.
See, the great thing about me is that I meet every crisis with aplomb. Right. But never say I don’t have a good sense of drama!
Although there was a space for one, we hadn’t wanted to put a lock on the gate for reasons of convenience and the latch had always seemed pretty reliable. Until now. So I began casting about for some sort of intermediate solution—something to keep the gate from blowing open in the wind, something short of a lock.
Here’s where it paid to be a knitter:
Latch reinforcement fashioned of U.S. Size 8 aluminum knitting needle and blue point protector.
Please keep door closed. With a knitting needle if necessary.
This kept me happy for about 18 hours while I searched for a more permanent solution. That’s when it occurred to me that a carabiner would probably be perfect for the task.
So I bought this on Friday:
The Neutrino!
Wonderfully, it had a tag attached to it that read: “Warning, this product is for use only for rock climbing and mountain climbing. These activities are dangerous. You are responsible for your own actions! Misuse can result in SERIOUS INJURY or DEATH.”
I felt rakish and adventuresome just buying such a thing.
I am no rock climber, but this tag has led me to reflect upon the relative merits of knitting as a pursuit. There are fiascos like Minnie of course. But then again, it occurs to me that every time you buy point protectors or stitch markers, they blessedly don’t come with a tag that essentially says, “Fool! Now you gonna die!”
I find that heartening. Maybe I won’t quit knitting after all.
September 23rd, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Well said, and the word carabiner is such a fun word it cheers me up.
I’m so happy that Shelley is fine. I had a palpitation when I sensed where the story was going . . . glad for a happy ending. How did you choose which needle to sacrifice as a gate pin?
I don’t blame you about the Minnie sleeves. So a coupla options. Make Minnie sleeveless or pass her on to a six-foot beanpole friend. If you choose the sleeveless option, use the sleeves as doilies or some other such homey art.
Or, if you’ve a mind to, put Minnie in the yarn shop and sell her for an exorbitant amount of money. Then use the money for tickets to Viggo Mortensen movies or yarn for form-fitting sweaters.
And y’all know I love you right back. 😉
September 23rd, 2007 at 4:33 pm
I have been wondering since I started reading your blog if in fact Shelley was part Shiba. I have a shiba too, named Tobah (long story) we resued him, came with the name Octoba, so we chose Tobah. Love him to death, he”s taken the place of my 3 boys who are all out of the house. He’s the best guy, loves to lounge around. I’m so glad Shelley is safe and sound, and will be even safer being guarded even temporarily with your needle.
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:00 pm
NO RE-REKNITTING sleeves! In action, the movement of this garment is lovely!
LOL, love the carabiner warning!
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:21 pm
I have just finished a sweater of such vastness that I question my own sanity. So me, I dig the sweater sitch.
In the end – it will keep me warn in my frigid office, which is why I mad it – and it is the perfect amount of warm without hot, and cozy too. And it reminded me I like cables.
So not a dead loss. But not, you know, at all flattering.
The knitting needle is a zimmerman worthy solution.
September 23rd, 2007 at 8:47 pm
What the carabiner is a shiba or an inu? I thought I had a wierd canine -cow dog shar pei mix, according to the vet.
And something tells me you’d flunk out of any 12 Step for Knitters. A true backslider, you.
September 24th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
I like the sleeves- the garment looks like a saque.
The yarn seems kind of thick though- like cotton cording.
And the sequins are lost in it.
September 25th, 2007 at 9:13 am
I laughed aloud at this post, Ellen. What a gift you gave me! I had no idea that you, unlike the other members of your family, met every crisis with aplomb. I felt that I was there with you when Alex revealed the news that Shelley had been in the back yard without a locked gate. I can’t imagine learning that our dear Izzy had an opportunity to run away!
Also the warning on the carabiner (How does one pronounce that word?) reminded me of the first time I read the warning on a package of hamburger buns, “Do not use this packaging in the oven!” Thank you, Interstate Bakeries. I will be sure to be aware of the consequences of that action.
September 25th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Having lost my dog to an open gate, I can say from experience, never underestimate the value of a closed gate. Stupid pizza delivery-guy!! (We got our dog back 3 days later, muddy, covered with fleas, but I think happy to see us!)
September 27th, 2007 at 11:11 pm
Hi – am very impressed by the gate fix – amazing what you can do with needles, yes? Also, just wondering….. did you ever get anywhere with that Cameron Diaz sweater design? it’s haunting me too, and I see you were playijng with it a ways back.
September 28th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Ellen, there is no WAY you can look like a sausage, so just get that idea out of your head.
That said, with all possible affection, I think I have to agree that Minnie is not your most flattering sweater. Not that you don’t look good in it, because you always look pretty damned good, but you have looked better in some other things.
As for Shelley – that’s wonderful that she stayed in the yard (or at least got back into the yard before anyone caught her out). My beloved Dingo was an escape artist. Sometimes I would not realize he had bolted the yard until I would hear the dogs from the houses behind mine start up a chorus, one at a time, as Dingo taunted his way down the fenceline. Quite the sense of humor that dog had.
I was once on the same plane as Viggo Mortenson, but didn’t know it until close to the end of the flight, at which point it was too late to gawk. Then they let him off first so as to give him the chance to disappear into the airport crowds.
So, what are you going to do with Minnie?
September 28th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Hah! And just as I was wrapping up my last comment, I received the following email from Fidelity Investments:
“Fidelity E-news: Exit Stock Market at Own Risk”
Talk about danger!! I wonder if there are banana peels strewn about near the exit of the stock market. Or maybe greased ball bearings 🙂
October 1st, 2007 at 10:42 am
Hi! I am also a Shiba owner – fell for the puppy look and never went back. Our first Shiba was an escape artist and met her demise by car (I still don’t know if she went out an accidently open gate or squeezed out somewhere else – she was into that sort of thing and was the runt of the litter, therefore very small). I was so happy to hear that your dog stayed inside!
I have considered a dog door for our Pippin, but we have recently acquired a neighbor who thinks he barks too much (she happens to be wrong but has the law on her side). So he gets to hang around with us or get chased back in the house as soon as he greets someone walking by or some other doglike bit of communication.
I like the sweater, but certainly feel your pain about not liking it on you. I think farming it out to the store is the best option – then buy yarn for something awesome!